That was the hardest question Roger (my mentor/food guy) asked me. He said I really needed to figure this out. I needed to have some sort of a purpose.
Now, those of you who know me personally, know I am goal-driven in my life. When I say I am going to do _________, for the most part, it happens. Simply because if it is something I want to accomplish, I work to make it happen.
Let me give you an example. I have known since I was a kid what I wanted to do as a career. I can remember my mom and I having a conversation about school and she said that I would first graduate high school, then go on to college. She explained that you get your Bachelor's degree, then your Master's and then finally your Doctoral degree. My family put a strong emphasis on education. They didn't push me into any career, they just wanted us (my siblings and I) to be successful. From a young age I wanted to be a teacher. I had it in my head that I would do all of those things. It never once occurred to me that I couldn't. No one ever said I wasn't capable. They will also tell you I'm pretty hard headed and pretty determined. I'm sure that played a role along the way.
So, fast forward to today. I finished my Bachelor's degree in 1996 (while getting married, having 2 kids and then getting divorced). I began teaching in 1998 (after substituting and working as a paraprofessional and and an Instructional assistant, and getting remarried during that time too). I taught for 10 years (had a third child), finished my Master's degree and then left teaching in 2008 to complete my PhD. I wanted to teach at the University level. After four years of graduate work (two more jobs and getting divorced) I wrote my dissertation and graduated in December 2012.
My point in sharing that quick synopsis of my life was that I had a goal and despite whatever job I had, personal struggles I was going through or what life handed to me, I did what I set out to do and reached my goal. Again, It never occurred to me that I couldn't. Write a paper? Sure. I can do that. Research and make it over 100+ pages? No problem. I wanted a University job, and I went to numerous interviews, made connections and landed full time where I am today, two years later.
So. What does that have to do with fitness? Well, I needed a new goal. A new challenge. I wasn't happy with how I had let myself go. My health wasn't the best. So I figured I would work on me. Remember, I set goals and work to make it happen. Well, this girl met her match. This was completely new to me. It required an entirely different skill set. I didn't (and sometimes don't) have the confidence. Write a huge paper? Sure. Speak in front of hundreds of people? No problem. Lose 30+ pounds and keep it off? Um, I don't know. Not sure if I can do it. I don't know how.
This has been by far the hardest thing I have ever done. And that my friends, sends me for a loop. I don't have the experience or education to back me up this time. Going back through my health history, I have been told there are things that I can't do. In this area of my life I am no longer the expert. I'm the new kid. I'm not the teacher and I really suck being the student. (Sorry, I'm sure there's a better way to put that, lol). And, I have stumbled a lot.
But here's the cool part: I have an amazing support system that I have put together to help me reach my goal. Not once has Roger ever told me I couldn't do this. (I was pretty sure at some point he would tell me to give it up. He hasn't. ) My trainers, my gym friends, and the ladies I have developed supportive relationships keep cheering me on, encouraging me to get back up and try again and sharing with me how they did it. If I didn't have that in my life right now, I would have quit ages ago.
So, what motivates me now? You do. People who join me along the way in the journey and say, hey! I get it. You're human. I struggle too. WE CAN DO THIS. That is what keeps me motivated.
So think about your goals. Mine was to get skinny. It's not about that anymore. It's about getting fit, feeling healthy and being around for my family for many years to come.
Thank you for coming along on this journey with me. You help me more than you realize.
Be awesome today!!
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